Watch for me on the Ukrainian version of 'Cops'

Yesterday in Kyiv, I was walking along a path through a park on my way to the Caves Monastary. I was taking a couple of pictures and there were a few other people nearby in the park. Two police officers in uniform approached me and said something in Ukrainian. I told them I did not understand. One of them laughed and said 'Passport.' I instantly knew I was in big trouble. I stayed calm and asked what the problem was, told them I was a tourist, showed them my camera, and asked if I was going the right way to the Monastary. They hardly spoke more than a few words of English, but they persisted and asked for my passport. I told them I didn't have it with me. I actually did have it in my pocket, I always carry it with me. But I am learning how these encounters work and expected that if I handed over my passport, they would be in control of the situation. They told me I had to have an ID card or a passport and began threatening to take me to jail. They patted me down and said something about 'weapons.' Then they asked me to show them what was in my pockets. I showed them most everything except what was in my left pocket, which had my passport and a bunch of random scraps of paper (maps, receipts, directions, phone numbers). They demanded I pull everything out, but I refused to pull everything out of that pocket. They said 'OK' and pulled out the handcuffs. They cuffed me behind my back and said something about 'police station.' I said 'OK, let's go.' I was pretty sure they were still just trying to scare me.

We started walking, only about 5 meters, when they stopped and again told me to empty my pockets. I told them I didn't understand what the problem was, and could I speak with someone who spoke English. They called up the police station on a cell phone and got me some lady who spoke decent English. She said I was required to show them my passport and because I didn't have it, they had to take me to the station. Then came my favorite part of the entire ordeal. I asked her if I had done something wrong, or whether there was some reason the cops had stopped me. She said that yes, there was a very good reason they stopped me: 'Because you are a stranger.' LOL, funniest thing I have ever heard.

I asked her if I were to show my passport, would they let me on my way? She said they would. So I got off the phone, asked the cops to show me their IDs, which they did. I assume they were legit even though I couldn't read them. I fished out the stuff in my left pocket to show them, then said 'Oh, what do ya know, my passport is here! Thought I had left it at home.' They looked it over for about 5 minutes and spoke on their phones again. Then they put it next to my face and determined that it was not in fact my passport. I think I started laughing which did not make them happy. I then told them every piece of information on my passport, and I guess they started to believe me. So I asked if I could go, but of course not yet. They asked if I had my 'immigration card.' I filled out a standard customs type card when I entered the country, and was told to show it when I exited the country. It was in my bag at Yulia's apartment. So I told them nope, and then we went through the same ordeal with them pulling out the handcuffs and telling me it was police station time. I still wasn't intimidated and told them OK. They started asking me when I entered the country and where I was staying. I told them the truth, and finally asked if they could speak with Yulia. I thought about it and decided that might not be a terrible idea.

So I called her up (she had let me borrow a cell phone so I could stay in touch with her) and explained the situation. She spoke with the cops for awhile and then they handed the phone back to me. Next was the moment I had been waiting for. She told me to pay them 50 hrz (4 euros or so) and I could leave. I know that amount of money is basically nothing, but it just feels wrong to pay an obvious bribe. I told Yulia I wasn't going to pay them anything. She said OK and spoke with the cops again. After a few minutes, they hung up and handed me back the phone and my passport. They spoke with each other for a bit, then shrugged, looked at me, and said 'Goodbye.' Victory!!

Yulia later told me about the conversation. Legally, the cops can ask anyone at anytime for their ID card or their passport (which I knew). The law used to say that tourists had to carry their immigration card with them, but that is not true anymore. The law also used to say tourists had to register in every city they visited in Ukraine! The cops told her that I hadn't registered in L'viv or Kyiv. Yulia told them she knew that wasn't the law. But apparently she had read about a bomb scare that day nearby where I was. She though maybe the cops were enforcing some sort of 'state of emergency' type situation and she then asked what I could do to leave. She offered that I pay the 50 hrz because it would be much easier than going to the police station. The cops agreed to her that they would let me go if I paid them. When I told her I wasn't going to pay, she told them and then said I would go with them to the station. then asked which police station we were going to so she could come help me. They told her something like 'OK, nevermind' and hung up on her!

The whole thing lasted maybe 30-40 mins. I am proud to say I didn't panic and have avoided paying a bribe or being arrested twice in a row now!